2014-02-05 18:12:31 by GhostLawyer

Oh, why hello there, beautiful stranger! What brings you around these parts? Why don't you pull up a chair and stay a while. Sit and chat with me by this warm, crackling fire. It's quite cozy. I've got marshmallows too, if you're into that sort of thing. If not, perhaps I could interest you in some delicious homemade tomato bisque. I have a feeling you'll love it. Everybody loves my tomato bisque.

In addition to fantastic soup, I also make music! "What's that?" you ask? Why, my child, music is an audible substance that can evoke a variety of sensations in the typical human being. Known for commonly inciting states of enhanced emotion, music has made humans laugh, cry, and dance about in wild abandon for millennia. My dream is to contribute to this chorus of humanity through my love of music for a living. I strive to craft the grooviest of grooves, the most melodic of melodies, and the most lyrical of lyrics. I hope the product is pleasing to your ears, as well as to your soul. If you have no soul, do not despair, for I do not discriminate against the damned. One of my songs is bound to relieve the terrible emptiness you've felt inside since you sold your soul to the devil for a Klondike bar that one time.

You've barely touched your soup. Oh, silly me! I forgot the ground pepper. You can't eat my famous tomato bisque without ground pepper. I can be so dreadfully forgetful sometimes... well you just sit tight. I'm going to run to the grocery store and get you some of the fresh stuff so you can enjoy that soup properly. While you wait, feel free to peruse my musical discography. I'm sure you'll find something to your liking. If not, then I certainly won't hold a grudge or anything.

Just eat your soup.



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2014-02-05 18:46:37

I can't lie, I totally lolled at this very well written post. I also can't help but wonder, why did you switch your account? Keep up the good work (and soup)!

GhostLawyer responds:

I really only switched because I decided to go by a new alias. I had been "Funkmastercatking" since I was twelve and I felt it was time to move on. I guess I wanted a fresh start. But, ya know, deep down, Funkmastercatking will always be a part of me. Identity, man... identity... *tear*

Thank you for actually reading it haha. I will most definitely keep up the good work. And my soup is and always will be top notch.